2012 boasts some great actors who turn in surprisingly fantastic performances. John Cusack is a writer and part time limousine driver. His estranged wife is played by Amanda Peet and they are always a good combination together (See: Martian Child). Danny Glover is the President of the United States. Thandie Newton is his daughter. Oliver Platt plays a snide and narcissistic White House Chief of Staff and Chiwetel Ejiofor is wonderful (like always) in his role as the American geologist who brings the little problem of Earth’s boiling core to the President’s attention and subsequently lands a place on the how-the-hell-are-we-going-to-get-out-of-this-mess task force. Then there is Woody Harrelson who turns in a brilliant performance as an absolutely loony (Or is he?) doomsday prophet and, honestly, it may be the best role of the film.
Global destruction: It is director Roland Emmerich’s modus operandi (Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow) and he does it oh so well.
2012 dedicates its first thirty minutes to setting the stage. A discovery is made in 2009 that solar flares have grown in frequency and intensity, but that neutrinos from a particularly large solar flare are penetrating into the Earth’s crust and causing the core temperature of the planet to increase dramatically. The implication? With a far more liquefied center the tectonic plates on the surface of the Earth will begin to shift dramatically, magnetic poles will realign, destruction will take place and humanity will not survive. There is a G8 Summit. Survival plans are brainstormed. Priceless artwork is replaced by government commissioned forgeries. The obscenely rich are given the opportunity to purchase a place of safety on whatever savior plan has been set in place by the world’s governments. Going rate? €1 billion per person (roughly $1,490,000,000.00 USD). The grand plan has to be funded somehow, right? The rest of humanity is left in its collective ignorance to go about living their daily lives. Once the build up is complete, Emmerich wastes no time in obliterating the planet and the ride is fantastic.
I, for one, am a huge fan of the disaster film genre. I believe the style is often misunderstood which is why I’ll use 2012 as the perfect learning tool for:
Disaster Movies 101
It’s all about the ride. Seriously.
Suspend reality. Please. There will be sequences in a disaster film that are blatantly unrealistic. Let. It. Go. If you can’t… go watch something else.
Monuments must be destroyed. Lovers of disaster films appreciate seeing an aircraft carrier ride a tidal wave into the Chesapeake Bay and take out the White House. It’s true.
Children will be in peril. Every disaster movie. Every time. Even people who claim to hate children still don’t like to see children in danger. Screenwriters know.
Miraculous escapes are required. Miracle: [mir-uh-kuhl] -noun- an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers. Remember that “suspend reality” part of this tutorial? It should be fully engaged at this point. I know full well (geeky Discovery Channel watcher that I am) that the blast and ash cloud from an exploding volcano cannot be outrun by a Winnebago. I simply don’t care.
Someone will always save the dog.
Humanity will survive. I’m actually waiting for someone to make a huge blockbuster disaster film where total global annihilation actually takes place. Screw test audiences.
And finally…
Characters matter. Do they really? Yes, they do.
So, what did I learn from 2012?
1. Governments will lie and kill to avoid worldwide pre-disaster hysteria and chaos. (Okay, I already knew this… but it is true. I have no doubt.)
2. Anyone can fly a plane.
3. The last place you want to be when the world starts falling down around you is near the Eiffel Tower or the Washington Monument or the Statue of Liberty. For the love of all things holy… run away! Run away! (Yeah, I knew this one too. Sue me.)
4. John Cusack can drive any kind of vehicle out of any kind of disaster situation.
5. If you need an ark built… call China.
Oh! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again now that I have cinematic proof (That’s valid, right?): If I get wind of any type of imminent worldwide disaster… I’m on the first flight back to Africa.
“Our culture is our soul and that’s not dying tonight.” ~2012 (2009)
